Dancing along the edge
by TheBlackCatCrossing
Summary: TDK: Batman makes a deal with the Devil in a Nurse's outfit. Batman/Joker slash. M/M Nolanverse. R/R please! COMPLETE. SHOT.


_Author's note: Hello again. I didn't expect such a reaction to my first fic, **Almost Got 'im**. Thanks a lot. It means a lot to me. I don't intend to start a series (and I am making no promises when I say that) but I had a few ideas that I wanted to pen down and share. There were so many moments in TDK that I wanted to tackle I didn't know where to start! I figured, why not tackle them one by one? I am glad to see that I was not the only one who was tickled pink when I saw the nurse Joker scene. In the back of my mind, I knew I had to do something that involved Joker in lady's scrubs. I would have done it sooner but work and RL get in the way. Having watched the film three times, I hope and feel that I got it right. The J is sophisticated and fun to write, though, unlike some people, I don't claim to be the Pope on all things Joker. I am just having fun with this. Oddly enough, I have had an inkling of doing a Two Face/Joker fic here and there (while proudly claiming to be a writer of the Bat and the Clown for two and a half years now). You just never know and like I said, I do not make promises. I am doing this because I have an idea that I would like to share. Added to the fact that I am committed to my other big project in the comics area as well as plans for co writing another story, updates will be far and few in between unless I get very tired of that said assignment. That said, I hope you enjoy this little piece. I have a few ideas I want to write down for the Nolanverse but I ain't saying when they are coming! I like to surprise my readers and I am also a very bad procrastinator with a bad attention span! Please note that this is written for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. _

Era/setting: TDK Nolanverse

Characters: Batman, Joker

Rating: PG-13 or Rated T

Warnings: Suggestiveness, language, adult themes, violence, cross dressing

Recommendations: Arkham Asylum, The Dark Knight Returns, The Dark Night novel by Denny 'Neil.

Feedback: Sure. Flames will be used to roast chestnuts.

The rain poured down like an angry fury down the streets of Gotham City. It was a poor attempt to cleanse the city of the dirt and grime that had infested it and this did not include the underfunded sewer system. For a few months and counting, The Dark Knight was on the run. Although he was never seen as a blessing to rid the city of its crime and corruption, his status as a feared urban myth did little to deter his popularity points. Already seen as an urban myth or as a creation from the police squad, the Dark Knight preferred the more incognito setting. If he wanted popularity points, he would have been a politician. Politicians had to keep their hands clean and their resources were usually pathetically lacking. He preferred the setting of secrecy 

and the lack of a Bat signal meant that underlings who wanted to steal a purse or needed more time to cut a deal with illegal drug trades would no longer be forewarned with that blasted signal.

The relationship he had with Gordon was now strained. Their meetings became more and more clandestine and their encounters more unpredictable. Dawn wouldn't come for a few more hours but the newly elected commissioner Gordon took a deep sip from his heavily caffeinated coffee. Black. No taste of artificial sweeteners could take away the bitterness that parched his throat. He handed the plastic cup to his second in command, detective Ramirez. She alongside another colleague was sworn to secrecy about these secret affairs due to their involvement with the fall of the late district attorney. Ever since that night, they had been walking on eggshells, conducting their business in the dead of night, following their shaky leads with questionable clues and cryptic and arcane directions. It was the price they paid for their involvement with Him.

Gordon had received a suspicious package on his desk. Previous encounters had induced a less than welcoming sensation in his stomach. With the help of detectives and officers, it was conjectured that it was not a bomb that was inside the package judging by the weight, size and temperature but it was a suspicious package nonetheless and it was palpable that it was not for anyone within the department.

A familiar flapping of fabric alerted the commissioner who had been growing more or less used to these 'surprising' drop ins.

"Any sign of him?" The commissioner retorted. They were never the greeting types.

"Searched any possible hide outs. The Chechen didn't help as did any of his associates. Most likely out of fear."

"At least he knows how to keep his hands clean, like Pontius Pilate," Gordon said pessimistically. He pulled out a large Marlboro and lit it up.

"Don't be so positive. His hands will never get clean," Batman said darkly.

"Sorry, I forgot you weren't the humorous type," Gordon replied, turning towards the Dark Knight.

The Batman stepped forward from the shadows, looking more demonic as he did so rather than a force of benevolence. His cross façade highlighting that restless spirit that raged within him. Ramirez greeted the new comer with a straight face. She still was not used to him. If anything, he felt more like a risky last resort who was better off working off his own squad rather than dealing business under the table with the badge. It was serious a serious enterprise and a part of her could not stomach that she was directly involved with an urban legend that was staring at her in the face.

"What does he want now?" Ramirez replied, trying to get more progress into the investigation. Standing and staring at each other was just as useful as a fish with a bicycle.

"Mark Millar Middle School. He somehow was able to get a hold of a bus that left Fifth and Orchard at three twenty three this afternoon, taking a bunch of eighth graders with him. He won't let them go until you say hello," Gordon nodded towards the costumed man.

"That's it? No ransom?" Ramirez asked sardonically. This was either a new breed of animal, rather than criminal or she missed a few lessons in training.

"This one is different," Gordon began. "The Joker does not care for mundane things like money. He just does this to," he said with emphasizing fingers, "…make a point." His voice was laced with poison. It was evident that it was taxing on her senior's patience.

"It's not that simple," Batman added. "The Joker may not care for material gain. That meant that there isn't a method to his madness. Behind the seeming chaotic façade, there is a pattern. Even if there isn't one, there is some consistency."

Gordon snorted. "And that's supposed to help?"

"Leave it to me," the Bat responded sharply. The Joker would not take anyone, not even the SWAT Team would be able stop him. He would not take second rate tiers. It had to be him and only him. He was a very demanding clown.

"Before you do, you got a little present," Jim said as he present bestowed the yellow parcel to the dark detective. He took the envelope and studied it.

"It came for you this morning," the commissioner said. "If I didn't know better, I would say that they were directions. Or clues."

It was clear that the package was for Batman. Who would it really concern if the package was decorated with Joker's trademark sign? A pair of familiar squiggly black circles and a messy red mark under them told them that.

Batman tore open the suspicious package. He found a note made from a torn out piece of scratch note book paper, possible from one of the children's. Aside from the poorly doodled image of him hanging from a pole with what seemed like a game of hangman underneath the drawing, there was a visual that got his attention. One was the picture of a boat. The other had what looked like a donut.

"What does it mean?" Gordon spat.

"It's a code. Joker may not look like he makes sense but he is deeply perceptive. This is a visual clue as to where he is," Batman responded.

Gordon stepped forward and also looked at the drawing. He was mildly offended at the poor depiction of a cop. It was a pig's head with police headwear and it was drawn next to the donut.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gordon befuddled. He was used to complex items like Braille, sign language, he studied and mastered three different languages to help the immigrant population in Gotham but this? This was something best left to those who studied child psychology, or so he previously thought.

"The boat represents the docks. The bagel next to it represents Dale's Bagel shop which is in the same plaza as the port. Joker is at the port," Batman said finally. "There is a large storage garage there. He could very well be in there."

Gordon was taken aback by the quick skill. It was so painfully and blatantly patent that it slightly embarrassed him to have missed that detail. Then again, this was his early experience with someone like that deadly clown. He was more slippery than a snake in water.

"There's something else," he pointed out. A few lines of script were written beneath the drawing.

One by one they will fall

_Unless you shall heed my call_

_For every hour that you fail to observe and passes by_

_I will sing the little darlings their last lullaby_

_I will imprint on each and every one of them my gorgeous face_

_Which will come forth with a force more painful that mace_

Batman crumbled up the piece of paper. The docks were outside of the city limits so it would take awhile, just under an hour to be precise to get there. What got to him more was Joker's history of lying. There could be no way to trust his words. What if he didn't keep time and killed at will if he got bored? He was reminded of Joker's clues about Rachel and Harvey's mixed directions.

"Great, so he bought himself time," Gordon snorted.

"He's using them as bait to get me," Batman responded.

"I can see that," the commissioner replied. "You sure you don't want any help?"

"No," the Batman said bluntly. "Joker's plans have to be precise and according to his game. Anything that would ruin that he will go ballistic. I can't risk any more pawns…."

"But that's three against one, man! And I am not counting the clown brigade he uses as security!" Gordon retorted.

"Joker has to play these sick little games according to his rules. I am entering his territory. Any hint of me getting outside resources will only make him harm those kids to get to me. I can't risk it, Jim," Batman said softly. Ramirez went inside to get more coffee. Her superior could tell her the details later. It was clear that she was not needed for now.

The sound of his voice caught the former lieutenant off guard. It was reminded of their once close relationship. It reminded the new commissioner that things had not changed and that there was a comrade underneath all that Kevlar. His heart was still in the right place even if his methods had taken a more severe turn, and not without good reason.

"Good God," Gordon shuddered. "Those kids…."

"You have my word, Joker won't harm those kids." The declaration was a challenge and a promise that he intended to keep. It made the reality more tangible, but the time sensitive issue was slippery under his feet.

"I'm holding a press conference," Gordon declared.

"No! You don't want to start more pandemonium. Those kid's parents have had enough!" Batman responded. "It would only go against Joker's rules.

At this point, the commissioner had grown tired of the Batman, complete polar opposite of the clown, and defend Joker's method.

"Look, I'm only trying to help-"

When he turned around, he saw that the Dark Knight had already left.

"Damn," Gordon blurted out.

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Albert Chin wasn't exactly the most popular kid at MM Junior High school. A plump kid with beady glasses, a breathing problem and bad acne made him prime prey for bullies. He was too slow for the jocks that caught up with him and gave him a generous amount of swirlies when the mood suited them. Now, Albert was the subject of a very important experiment. No longer did Albert's classmates see him as the perfect punching bag for their amusement. Today, Albert's balls were bigger than any of the boy's in the room combined for he was the prime focus of the Joker's trial.

Albert's fat face was glistening with sweat and his small beady black eyes stared at the tall man that walked passed him. All eyes were set upon their captor. The kid's were restrained into a 

small group and were held in close quarters by Joker's men and their bazookas. They dare not test any of their patience as class clown Travis McNulty was made an example of. For hours without any food or water, the kids huddled close, occasionally staring at the clown masked captors whom circled them like vultures on a rotting carcass on the savanna. Their stress levels rose exponentially when they saw their host come in from a door and walked towards his captive audience.

He looked like a normal man except for a few things, one of them being the makeup on his face. It was white caked on all over his visage, making him look like his moniker. Black kohl makeup gave him an emaciated look which added to his already thin frame. Seaweed greasy green hair fell down his head. His lips which were scarred and were highlighted by what appeared to be red lipstick, giving him a perverse carved smile.

"Good evening," the man replied. "I will be your host for the evening." He smiled. The look alone made the children's stomachs churn.

Albert gulped at the strange looking clown man. He knew that they called him the Joker but there was nothing remotely funny about anything that he did. He was like that stranger on the bus that would not bother you and you wanted to tell him to 'go away'. In his position there was no choice. Albert held his breath closely when he saw the Joker pass him and pat him on the head. Unlike earlier accounts, Joker did not done his trademark purple costume. This time, the site was really grotesque and made him twice as uncomfortable. Albert held his breath when he saw and felt the Joker who was donning a nurse's outfit complete with a tattered I Believe In Harvey Dent logo plastered on his left breast. He stared, frozen at the sight.

The rest of the children, all thirteen and fourteen year olds stared at the Joker who stood before them like a ringmaster at a circus.

"Welcome to my humble abode, well of my many places I like to call home….please refrain from smoking and drinking. I do like keeping my habitat clean because I recently had to get rid of my maid. We don't have a human resources department here, so any complaints that you feel require merit should be forwarded to me," Joker said sweetly. "Any questions, darlings? Yes, you in the blue!" Joker said as he pointed to a Latino male in a blue basketball jersey.

"What are we doing here?" He asked. Joker tapped his fingers together as if he was thinking about what to say.

"Good question. What's your name?"

"V-Vincent…" the boy said nervously. He had now regretted getting the clown's attention. Last thing he wanted to end up like either Paul or Albert. He wanted to show off to his friends but now that didn't seem so awesome now.

"Well, V-Vincent. You see, you were chosen because you are very special. I only wanted the best for my little experiment and you qualified for the role. You must be so proud!" Joker clasped his hands together. "You see kiddies. You were chosen for an experiment. You have all played checkers right? Yes?" Joker tapped a girl in the front row closest to him. She gasped.

"Oh don't be such a nervous Nellie! I don't bite. Cut yes, but I don't bite!" Joker snapped.

The kids were too stunned to say anything. Here they were in close quarters with one of Gotham's most wanted and here the Joker was trading bad puns with them. It was then that the Joker took note of a small girl who was having difficulty breathing. He caught her like a hawk.

"What's a matter, hmmm?" he tapped her violently which caused her breathing patterns to become more irregular. "What's wrong, not funny enough for you? You wanna go to the bathroom?"

"She has asthma!" Another girl in the back replied. "We had to leave our stuff on the bus!"

Joker nodded, looking understandably casual, but when that look came from the Joker it added a perverse form of cheap concern. It made Mindy Simmons stomach turn. She eyed the Joker up and down. Her proclivity was seriously hindered when she eyed the Joker in a form fitting female nurse's uniform. Her mouth squirmed when she saw a pair of hairy legs appear out from under the nurse's skirt. She wanted to laugh but at the same time, she feared it would cost her a pulse. That did not go unnoticed by the Prince who caught her grabbing an eyeful.

"What are you looking, string bean?" Joker hissed. "I worked hard to get this body you know!" The Joker screeched, pushing Mindy sharply on her shoulder.

"Any more questions from the cub scouts?" Joker surveyed the group of obviously frightened children. Some huddled together while others looked at the ground to avoid contact with the clown. The room was dead silent aside from Albert's steady and profuse breathing. The clown eyed the object of his audition. He was done here. For now. He turned his attention to the fat kid who was tied up and wore a bull's eye target over his head. His hands were tied to the back and he was standing on top of a crate. His armpits were wet with his sweat.

"Having fun, aren't we? It's Rupert, isn't it?" Joker chuckled.

"Al-Albert," the boy replied. His breathing was hindering a quick response.

Joker slapped Albert on his belly. "Don't correct the adults, son. What kind of example is that?"

Joker stepped closer and placed his foot on the crate, leaning in to get a better look at the boy. Albert got a really good look at those cold dead eyes. They were a brilliant shade of green but beauty would not come into the equation whether it was the Joker or any other super predator. He smelled of cheap cologne and medicinal supplies.

"Don't be nervous, son. Just think about it. You stood up to Uncle Joker and now those bullies have no reason to call you fatty fatty two by four, correct?" Joker mused. Albert nodded hesitantly.

Joker punched Albert in the belly. The boy barely leaned forward, tying to lessen the impact of Joker's hit.

"You know this kind of browbeating doesn't end in grade school, right? In college, there are these things called hazing in fraternities. You watch 20/20, don't you?" Joker petted the boy lovingly.

"Bah! Kids these days and your junk MTV! Never mind, I shall remedy that," Joker turned around, talking to himself now.

"You know what I think, son? You can either take the hits, fall down and get crushed by the competition or you can use it as strength. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Joker said sweetly like he was talking to a puppy. Albert nodded quickly.

"There's a lad. Tell you what. Why don't you act out that scene from The Goonies and I will let you live!" Joker said with bright eyes.

There was dead silence throughout the while room. Albert's breathing ceased for a moment until he noted a black shape take form and knocked the Joker off his balance.

"You are not terrorizing people any more, clown!" Batman barked. Joker was rubbing his chin when a low threshold of giggles was forming.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up. These kids were starting to bore me. No sense of humor and all."

"I'm here, you said you wanted me. I'm here. Let the kids go, Joker."

"Ah ah ah," Joker said while waving a finger. "We still haven't played our little game. You know it doesn't end that way…." Joker went behind a young black girl and began to massage one of her pigtails. She stood frozen. She could feel his cold white hands on her skin.

"Don't hurt the children, Joker. It's me you want," Batman responded with a voice laced with venom. His patience was wearing thin.

"Nope. Actually, I do love children, Batman. They can be quite the little angels when you train them right, like dogs."

Batman's lips went thin. Everything Joker said, he perverted it.

"I have always wanted children, to pass on my legacy or at least to keep the dishes clean when I'm out of town," The agent of chaos tugged and pulled the little girl's hair.

"Look, Batman. It's a little girl!"

The Dark Knight's stomach twitched. He was here but he was still wasting his time.

"I have already done it, as a matter of fact…." Joker's dark eyes went from little Alicia's pigtail to the Batman.

"What are you talking about….?" Batman replied.

"Oh, don't you remember? Gotham's White Night? Forget Hollywood pregnancies, Harvey was the best thing to happen to this city. I just finally brought him out of his cocoon and I am proud to say that I reaped that fine crop!" Joker said snidely. He placed a pair of bony hands on Alicia's shoulders. Tears began to stream down her eyes.

"Yes, the labor process was long and difficult but in a few short months, I gave ole' Harv new life!"

"You keep Harvey out of this," The Dark Knight said threateningly. The moment was still too poignant.

"If I do keep him out, Alicia's brain matter will be splattered across the new dry walling over there," Joker said gloomily.

Batman hesitantly gave into the request. Let him ramble on. He could find a pigeonhole in that hubris and he would have a good shot. Let him talk.

"Do you even know what I told Harvey when I visited him at the hospital before I blew it up into itsy bitsy parts?" Joker's eyes fluttered. "I told him that you are all schemers. You, Gordie, Maroni. Hey, I did my part with that last bit!" Joker said trying to look credible but to low avail. "I told him that once you introduce a little anarchy and shake up the established order, chaos reigns. Chaos is the ends to a mean. It's inevitable. Look what happened in Romania in 1989. Chile in 1973 . Chaos is the only response to a chaotic world. Don't tell me you don't see it. I mean, what kind of a country do we live in when we have to recount the number of votes in ONE state just because a few machines fuck up, hmm?"

"There are rules, Joker. That is how society operates. It's nature."

"And I am the renegade hurricane that hits the southern states every year. Your point?" Joker said snidely.

Batman growled lowly.

"You see, I was only feeding Harvey a small dose of truth. Even you can't deny it. Look at you now! You couldn't even come up with a good rebuff!" Joker scoffed. "I am disappointed, really…."

Joker pushed Alicia back into the group and focused his sole attention to the Bat.

"Harvey was in an emotionally delicate state. I only pushed him to the direction he needed," Joker spat back.

"You pushed him over the edge!" Batman shot back.

"Did I say it was the right one? I only pushed him to the most effective one!" Joker shrieked.

"You brought him down to your level only so that you could brag about it in my face!" The Dark Knight barked back.

"Whatever," Joker scoffed. "What I did is no different than what other predaceous creatures do! You ever watch Discover Channel? Even mother lions have to take care of their babies. See, I only nurtured Harvey to make better of himself. His other half was dormant, so to speak. I merely nurtured it…" Joker said snidely. A low fit of giggles emerged from his throat.

"You are a shark and sharks eat their own young. Don't take me for an idiot, clown!" Batman said sharply. Joker wiped a jade curl from his face.

"Hmmm, feisty," he said while licking his lips. "I like that. Chuckles, Happy, leave us." Joker ordered.

"But boss, da kids…" Chuckles protested. Joker returned the retort with an angry glare. On that note, the two henchmen did as they were told. As soon as the metal door shut by the left side with a loud creak signaling their excuse, the kids huddled together for protection. The Bat and the Clown still retained their focus on one another.

"So, are we going to continue this or am I going to have to force it out of you?" Joker said directly. He thrust out a hip and placed a hand on it. There was something perversely teasing about the way he did it.

"What are you talking about?" Batman said impatiently. Joker, in a mock fashion placed his hand on top of his chest.

"You mean you don't remember? Ouch. I am a little heartbroken."

So it wasn't a dream, but it really felt like one.

"Don't tell me you forgot about our night, Batman…." Joker said darkly.

He could still smell the clown's sweet perfume, he could still feel his gentle touch….

"There was no mention about this. You said this was about the children," The Batman said warningly.

"Who said anything about the little nose pickers?" Joker scoffed. "I only used them to bait you in…." Joker said in a teasing manner. He inched closer towards the Dark Knight. The Batman got an eyeful when he took note of the Joker in a white nurse's uniform. It fit him quite nicely as the belt hugged his thin waist which highlighted his delicate physique. Even his legs had that shapely form to them.

"What about them?! Let them go, Joker!" Batman demanded.

"The brats can wait. I just wanna focus on us…about that night…" Joker said cryptically. Joker stopped just in front of the other man. His face was merely inches away from the other's. Joker smacked his lips, looking with a prideful glance at the finely built specimen standing before him. At this moment in time, he had forgotten about the children in the background.

"I could just eat you up," Joker said suggestively while clasping his hands together.

"You're not funny, clown," Batman reacted. "Let the kids go. It's me you want." Batman declared.

"My, spoken like true words, but not now, I want to….savor the moment," Joker said when he pulled himself closer to the Dark Knight. There were a few inches in height that separated the two but that did not stop the Clown from making an impact on his captive Bat. He placed his thin palms onto the stomach of the other man's. The children looked on in disbelief. Their faces smacked with horror. Even Albert stopped sweating and focused his attention on the two arch foes.

Joker leaned in and pressed his face close to the Bat's neck, taking in a full whiff. He ran a lightning white hand from those firm abs to the strong back. Joker's eyes tinted up, giving him a feminine luster to his beam.

Batman took deep steady breaths while at the same time trying to make it obvious that the Joker had affected him. Martial arts had taught him to master the body so that it would be separate from the mind. Joker's tender strokes only served to add to his stress level. God, did he have to be so good at it?

"I know you are in there. You reek of testosterone…" Joker said in a suggestive manner.

"Why don't we go somewhere more….private?" Joker replied. He added a puff of hot breath, trying to regain the Bat's consciousness just as he did that night.

"Let the children go!" Batman demanded.

Joker sighed.

"That remains to be seen," he said incredulously. His patience was wearing thin by now.

Joker's hands snaked around the Bat's utility belt. He was studying every detail that he could muster.

"Is this where you keep all those neat toys?" Joker said, eying up. "You know, that batarang you threw and hit my calf really did a number on my ligaments. Naughty boys must be punished…." Joker said with a waving finger. The Batman stopped himself momentarily from snapping it off.

Batman let the clown explore, so long as he didn't press the wrong buttons or touch the wrong thing, he let him touch. He barely got a whiff and felt those emerald curls touch his face. He felt the Clown's body press against his. It produced sensations in his body that he hadn't felt or remembered since_ that_ night. Calm and serene, he concentrated on getting the Joker at the right moment. As long as he was away from the children, that's all that mattered to him. He had to get the Clown under his grasp and within reach. That was two down, he just had to strike at the best moment. It was then that the Bat made his most least expected move and grabbed the Prince by his back. Joker was taken by surprise at the sudden turn of attention.

"My, my, you are full of surprises…." Joker said sweetly.

Batman began to rub the small of the clown's back, trying to rein his attention. That's it. Distract him. The Joker pressed his body against the Bat's. He was obviously getting a kick out of this whole trade. Joker's hands explored the Bat's back and traveled down to the utility belt. It was then that mischievous smile crossed his gaunt face.

"Oh, and what's this….?" Joker said before the dark detective heard a sharp shushing sound from behind him. It was then that the Bat made his move and lunged at the Joker, pinning him down under his immense weight. A series of blows struck the clown's face. A low burst of giggles which grew into a crescendo of cackles echoed throughout the corridors. The children watched in horror as the urban myth known as Batman beat their grotesque subjugator to a pulp. Blood poured down the Prince's face and even then, the haunting laughs still emanated from him.

"Please," he begged, "not in front of the children!" Joker said as he attempted to crawl away. The Batman was merciless as he landed on last swift kick to the clown's stomach which made him topple and land on his face. The children stared at the sight. Some huddled close to their friends, shaken up by the entire tirade. The Joker still laughed once more. It was as if it was a coping mechanism when normal people used cries or grunts as a result of shooting pain pierce their bodies.

It was then that there was a police squad that entered the room, surrounding the entire block. The children gasped. Some cried even more.

It was over.

Batman handed the cuffed and tied clown to the police and turned him over to custody. He was their problem now.

"Jeez, what was he planning to do to these kids?"

Rookie.

"Whatever it was, it was done and dealt with. Never to be spoken of ever again." Gordon said warningly.

When the last bunch of kids and police cars left with a scattered few remaining, Gordon joined the Bat.

"You think they will ever figure him out?" He asked. The Bat crouching from an off way safe from view responded forebodingly:

"Some men just want to watch the world burn, Jim"

_Finis_


End file.
